Lessons of Life

A story in the news over the last couple of days reminded me of something that I really didn't need a whole lot of help remembering in the first place, but it did provide me with an opportunity to share it with all of you, so here goes...

I went to a community college based in Senatobia, MS, which was about 30 miles from my home.  I was 18-19 years old at this time, so my decision-making skills weren't exactly stellar (some might say nothing has changed, but I digress :)).  I attended classes in the morning, drove back to my hometown, and went to work at my job at a packaging plant.  Yes, that's right kids.  I had a full time job in a sweat shop, worked my tail off, and made like $7 an hour (which seemed like great money at the time).

Since I was paid by the hour, I usually tried to get to work as soon as possible.  One way to save time was to pack my lunch in a cooler, and then unpack and eat on my commute back into town.  (Keep in mind that I drove a truck with a manual transmission and reference the decision-making skills comment earlier.)

So I'm driving on the interstate one day and shift into fifth gear and my coke starts to slip out of the holder I had it in.  So I try to fix that situation and swerve a little bit close to the guy in the next lane.  He swerves over and honks, I realize what I've done, swerve back into my lane, and then wave and say sorry.  Problem solved, right?  WRONG!!

Dude rolls his window down and gestures for me to do the same.  Of course, I have lunch in my lap and my truck has manual crank windows so I struggle a bit but manage to get my window down without running him over again.  He says something I don't understand, I gesture to that affect and keep driving.

Well, he doesn't give up.  He pulls up in front of me (keep in mind again we are on the interstate) and gestures for me to pull over at the upcoming rest area.  I don't do it, so he speeds through the rest area entrance and exit and continues to follow me.  Now I'm totally freaking out, but have no idea what to do.  I figured he'd decide not to follow me the remaining 20 minutes of my drive home.  WRONG!!

All the way home he's either pulling up beside me and smiling while waiving money at me (more on that later), or going in front of me trying to get me to pull over, or just following me.  No cell phone, really freaked out.

So I finally get into town and race my way into the front parking lot at my work.  I tried to fake like I was going to turn off somewhere, but I'm no expert in high speed chases (I know y'all are probably shocked at that).  I figured that someone at work would see me pull up and would be able to quickly come to my rescue if something dangerous was happening.  (Not sure how that relates to my decision-making skills)

So the dude pulls up next to me and rolls his window down.  I make sure my door is locked and I crack my window to hear what he has to say.  And he says

"Do you want a blow job"

um...

WHAT???!!!!!

So now I'm totally freaking out, but I manage out a "No".  And then he says.

"Oh come on, I'll pay you"

Again, I manage a "No" and (thank God) he rolls his window and goes away.  I run into work as fast as possible.

So the lesson I learned that day?  KEEP IN MY OWN LANE WHILE DRIVING!!!  I would like to say I learned not to eat lunch in my car, but sadly I didn't.

So now you might be able to guess what news item I'm relating this to.  A Senator was soliciting sexual relations in the men's bathroom of an airport.  But what gets me is how he did it.  Apparently tapping your feet when a dude is in the stall next to you is an indication you are interested in him.  If they move their feet close to you and tap back, then that's an open invitation.

um...

WHAT???!!!!!

So a few years ago, apparently almost running someone over meant you were interested in sick, perverted behavior.  Now it's tapping your feet!!???

So the lesson I learned today?  KEEP MY FEET STILL WHILE IN THE BATHROOM!!!!

It's a sick world out there.  God help us.